Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
Unknown (a knot in my throat now)
"i was born in the wrong generation" i say as i steal my grandkids hoverboards because fuck you i was promised these years ago
straight friend: aw I don’t understand why you’re still single
me: because approximately 8% of the us population identifies under the lgbtq community where 1.1% identifies as lesbian female, 3.5% as bisexual female, 1.7% as gay male, 1.1% as bisexual male, .3% as trans, and .3% as something else, then there’s finding someone who I’m compatible with emotionally, physically, and romantically from less than 8% of the population, and may or may not live near me
I AM LAUGHING SO HARD AT MACHOPS MAILBOX IN POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON
bruh do you even lift