| Randi | ♀ | ♊ |
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Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.

[Class titters]

Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!

[Laughter increases]

Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!

[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]

Nothing in the world smells as good as the person you love.

Unknown (a knot in my throat now)

(Source: toinfinityandswann)

moonkistprincess:

"i was born in the wrong generation" i say as i steal my grandkids hoverboards because fuck you i was promised these years ago

iforgothowtonormal:

idk how and when but these makeup transformations are a thing now and they’re killing me

Anonymous asked
you are literally my favorite person because of how real you are

dilfgod:

straight friend: aw I don’t understand why you’re still single

me: because approximately 8% of the us population identifies under the lgbtq community where 1.1% identifies as lesbian female, 3.5% as bisexual female, 1.7% as gay male, 1.1% as bisexual male, .3% as trans, and .3% as something else, then there’s finding someone who I’m compatible with emotionally, physically, and romantically from less than 8% of the population, and may or may not live near me

skyjukebox:

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD AT MACHOPS MAILBOX IN POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON

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bruh do you even lift